Cafe Whammy's
by dolelle
Summary: Raito has gotten a job incidentally without his consent down at the local cafe Whammy's. Unfortunately for him the cafe is home to a whole arrangement of colourful employees who seem to want to drive him mad! Will he survive the horrors of work? AU LXR


**Hello one and all to my first fanfic: "Cafe Whammy's"!!!**

**  
Haha, okay as I'm sure you can tell, I'm pretty pumped for this fic (and hopefully it'll stay that way!)  
and as I said this is my first fanfic, so any feedback or constructive criticism is welcomed whole-heartedly – I'm a big girl so I can withstand harsh criticism too, as long as it's constructive I don't mind.**

**Also there are some things you should know before reading:**

**1. ****This is AU – Alternate Universe – so it doesn't follow the anime or manga plot****. At all. Not even a bit. So far I'm not planning on adding in anything about Death Note notebooks or shinigami or psychotic, evil yet undeniably sexy mass-murders named Kira. Kapeesh? (Or however-the-hell it's spelt)**

**2. ****There may be OOCness ****(Out-Of-Character). I thoroughly apologise beforehand for any OOCness this fic may, or may not contain. Like I said this is my first time writing Death Note fanfiction (Wrote some for other fandoms over three years ago), so the likely hood of the characters acting unlike themselves is unfortunately rather high. As L would say: There's a 58.7% chance Raito is Ki- er - that KiraKira will write the charcters OOC... There's also the fact this is a comedy – that immediately makes it OOC in the DN universe. XD**

**3. ****There MAY be other pairings besides L x Light****. I'm unsure as of yet whether or not there will be other pairings in this fic, but it is possible so I'm giving you a 'head's up'. Definite pairings will be L x Light and there will be one-sided Light x Misa moments. ****Other pairings I'm considering are: Sayu x Matsuda ****(but I think the age difference will be too great), ****Light x Misa**** (As I said there will definitely be hints of this), ****Matsuda x Misa**** (probably only hints of this – depends on the readers feed-back), ****Mogi x Misa**** (yeah... I dunno), possibly ****Misa x L**** and maybe ****Light x Takada**** if I feel like adding her into this story.**

**Ok now I've done that, onto the warnings:**

**Contains:**

- Swearing

**- Homosexuality**

**- Sexual scenes (between homosexual couples and heterosexual couples) **

**-Light in a sexy waiter outfit**

**- Misa Amane being.... well, herself.**

**Disclaimer:**** Obviously I don't own Death Note. But if anyone's interested in selling it's rights....**

**Okay enough of my blabbering (if it were a crime – which it should be – I'd be jailed for life), onward to the story!**

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_If work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it to themselves ~ Lane Kirkland._

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Cafe Whammy's

Prologue

The light, cheerful chime of the bell broke through the quiet chattering of the customers as the cafe door swung open. Upon the immediate opening of the door, Raito's senses were engulfed in a mixture of varying sounds and smells. The scent of warm newly baked pastries, cakes, cookies and other sinful indulgences wafted throughout the small cafe and permanently stained the walls and furniture with its enticing smell. These scents mixed with the aroma of the bright, blooming flowers upon the vast windowsills in, what Raito decided, was not a completely unpleasant manner.

Not only was the cafe a heavenly place – or torturous perhaps? – for the nose, it also wasn't too rough on the eyes or ears either. The small, confined area wasn't overly crowded, but the bustling of the few waiters and the small groups of customers accentuated the cafe's small size. The serene but wilful movements of the workers moving casually between tables could be heard, though barely audible behind the polite exchanges between customers and employees. Idle babbling between the clients was like a permanent background noise in the cafe; not obnoxious but loud enough to not completely be drowned out by the soft, classical music from the radio at the counter.

With the customary wooden furniture and floors and the earthy yet tasteful tones of the interior colouring added into the delightful atmosphere of the Cafe Whammy's; Raito concluded it was definitely a more than pleasant place to be. He could quite easily comprehend Sayu's desire to work here now that he'd seen it. Whammy's definitely had the atmosphere that could easily take his younger sister's fancy.

Glancing down at his sister beside him, Raito noticed her obvious signs of distress. Her front teeth gnawed gently against her bottom lip while her fingers were running persistently through her dark strands of hair; trying to undo non-existent knots in the perfectly combed tresses. Raito resisted the urge to chuckle. For someone as confident as himself, it was odd to have a sister lacking a lot less confidence in even the most menial areas. Sayu's ability to become nervous over little things never ceased to supply suitable ammo for Raito's teasing comments.

"Afraid you're going to mess up already little sis?"

"Brother!" Sayu whined and restrained from glaring at him for finding amusement in her discomfort.

Raito didn't bother to hide the smirk that twisted at his thin lips, "Don't be so whiney Sayu. I doubt Whammy's wants to hire annoying, little babies."

"Oh, shut up big brother!" Sayu grumbled angrily, "If Whammy's doesn't want whiney babies at it's cafe then you had better leave!"

"Only after you sister dearest, the biggest of all the whiney babies." Raito mocked, faking seriousness as he made a long sweeping gesture towards the door they had just entered.

Sayu didn't bother holding back the glare she wanted to send her brother's way this time. Raito grinned, oh how he did love getting his sister riled up. What he loved even more, however, was when plans went accordingly...

"Well fine then, you leave and I'll do this by myself. I don't need annoying, _jerkish_ brothers harassing me from the sidelines while I talk to the manager!" With that Sayu curtly spun on her heel and marched straight for the wooden counter, her every being oozing confidence. Or was that rage?

Raito's grin only widened as his infuriated sister stormed off. His plan was, as expected, a success.

Before Raito had left for school that morning his worried mother had informed him of his sisters plan to hand in a resume for a job at the local cafe, Whammy's. And of course being the model son and perfect big brother he was, his mother had asked him to offer his support to Sayu. Raito naturally agreed, claiming he'd do _anything _to help his little sister get the job of her dreams. His mother had thanked her lucky stars for being granted such a selfless and wonderful son, while said son plotted fun – devious, evil, nasty – ways to give Sayu the confidence she needed while giving himself some entertainment.

And said mission had been quite the success if Raito said so himself. I mean what drove whiney sisters to succeed more than the thought of spiting and showing-up their cruel big brothers? Nothing at all. Of course Sayu wasn't aware that she was indeed boosting her brother's already much-too-big ego. She didn't really need to know that though, as far as Raito was concerned. As long as the plan worked out that was all that mattered to him; the end justifies the means. A belief Raito had always held strong to.

Raito watched from his position at the door as his little sister's résumé was taken away by a kindly looking elderly man, presumably the cafe's manager. After a few short words, which Raito could only just pick up from the entrance, Sayu waved cheerfully goodbye to the old man and practically skipped back towards her awaiting brother.

She sent a smug, self-satisfied smile Raito's way as she continued straight past him and out the glass door; the same cheerful chime from when they entered pealed out and announced her exit. Raito smirked amusedly before promptly following his sister. As he turned towards the door, his eye caught something. Raito fixed the old man's eye, for just an instant. He could've sworn the man was looking straight at him, an odd – amused? Knowing? - twinkle in his eye. But then Raito was back out on the cold streets and the contact was gone.

He glanced backwards once at the cafe.

_Odd_. Raito thought idly as he caught up to his boasting sister.

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It was only four days later that Raito found himself staring up at the small wooden, painted sign, that hung above the cafe he'd been in not that long ago, Whammy's. It had been just last night that the phone had rung for his sister, Sayu. Upon hanging up the phone back on the receiver, an ecstatic Sayu revealed it had been the old man from Cafe Whammy's, which Raito had found out was the assistant-manager and went by the name of Watari. She had then claimed very smugly and unnecessarily loudly, that he would like her to come back to the cafe the next afternoon for her uniform and a guideline booklet.

This chain of events lead Raito to where he was now; entering the same glass door with same chiming bell to the Cafe Whammy's.

Upon entering his senses were subjected to the same unique scents just as they had been before. Raito took a moment to breathe in the distinct, warming aroma, before following a chirpy Sayu to the wooden counter against the opposing wall. Sayu was practically glowing with excitement as she all but skipped to the counter and perched herself on tiptoes and leant over; in search of Watari while Raito resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his sister's antics. Honestly, she could be so childish and undistinguished sometimes. And she didn't even have the slightest clue.

Disowning the thought, Raito moved beside his younger sister and began drumming his fingers rhythmically against the smooth oak surface of the counter; absently tapping a nameless tune. His coffee coloured eyes scaled the area out of pure habit, looking but not really seeing. After making a few rounds of the surrounding cafe, his eyes came to rest on the figure of an elderly man walking towards them. The man was tall and thin with a well tailored suit and tie. His white hair was combed back neatly and his small eyes hid behind round, black-rimmed glasses. Watari.

Upon noticing her soon-to-be-superior, Sayu's face lit-up with a wide, curled smile. The man responded in kind, with a small smile of his own.

"We're here for my stuff!" Sayu blurted out excitedly, her eyes dancing animatedly with glee.

Watari chuckled lightly, the many wrinkles around his eyes and mouth multiplying and deepening with his amusement, "Indeed you are Miss Yagami. It'll definitely be a pleasure to have you as an employee here."

Sayu's eyes instantly brightened even further, her enthusiasm over-filling her soft chocolaty eyes.

"Thank you Mr. Watari, sir!"

Watari's own eyes twinkled amusedly at Sayu's overzealous behaviour. Raito found himself chuckling too.

Sayu, hearing her brother, sent a sly, sharp glare his way for only an instant before turning her attention back to the well-dressed man in front of them. Raito, feeling completely unfazed, ignored his sister's attempt at aggression and smirked; enjoying how easily annoyed she was. His amusement was cut to a halt however, when he felt a familiar prickling along his arms and neck. He looked back up to see a pair of small, deep eyes alight with a twinkle focussed completely on him.

Raito, never to be the shy one, stared straight back at the older man. After a moment he stuck his hand out.

"Yagami Raito. Nice to meet you." He drawled out smoothly, in his signature baritone.

"The pleasure is all mine to meet you," Watari replied with a kind smile as his arm outstretched and his hand met Raito's in a firm grip, "Please refer to me as Watari."

Raito simply nodded as his hand fell back limply to his side.

"Well," Watari piped up with a clap of his hands, "Why don't I get your things, shall I?"

"Okay!"

With that Watari promptly turned around and headed off through a back door directly behind the counter.

Raito glanced back down at his sister, who had started running her fingers through her hair as she often did. Raito's eyebrow arched up questioningly. Why was she nervous all of a sudden? Raito frowned down at her, feeling slightly annoyed at his sister's seemingly bi-polar nature.

'Sometimes Sayu..." Raito muttered irritably. Really, would it kill her to keep her mood swings in check?

It was at this moment that Watari decided to make his appearance. The old man came back to the counter, carrying two black bags with him, which he plopped carefully down onto the bench.

_Two?_ Raito thought vaguely_. Why would Sayu need two bags?_

Before the cogs of Raito's sharp mind could get clanking and running smoothly, Sayu jumped in with a cheerful – too cheerful maybe? – smile, "Thank you Mr Watari! I appreciate it. Well y'know, I'd love to stay and chat, but dinner will be soon, and we really can't be late! Thank you! Bye-bye now!"

Raito threw Sayu a sceptical look for her odd behaviour as she all but tried to drag him back towards the door, "Sayu, calm down. We're in no hurry. There's no need to be rude." He scolded, feeling even more bewildered when Sayu literally grabbed his hand and started pulling.

"No, no Mr Yagami, it's fine. If you're in a hurry don't let me keep you." He said with a dismissive wave and a smile. "I'll look forward to seeing you both again Monday. Don't be late though – we may have to fire you both on the spot." The old man joked good-naturedly.

Raito froze.

_Both_? He thought.

His sharp gaze directed itself onto Sayu. She cringed as the gaze seared her.

He almost hissed aloud.

_Damn it, Sayu!_

Raito bit back his glare, and put his excellent acting skills to practice. A perfectly polite and friendly expression graced his features, where anger had resided seconds before.

"Wait Mr Watari. I believe there has been a mistake, I-"

"Jeez Raito! We really must be going, you know how mother gets! And I'm sure Mr Watari is busy too!" Sayu cut in abruptly and unnecessarily loudly, "We'll see you Monday!"

Sayu practically sprinted to the door, physically dragging her much larger and older brother behind her. She waved erratically at the elderly man, and jumped through the door – older brother in tow.

Watari chuckled and shook his head in obvious amusement as he waved goodbye to Sayu. Still chuckling he turned around and entered through the back door again thinking_, Siblings_.

Raito was aware he probably resembled a fish at that moment, with the look of shock that more than likely took residence on his face. But the audacity of that girl! And here he had been thinking she was a nervous, innocent little girl – anything like himself. Instead she has outwitted her own genius brother. He had been completely in the dark. Raito was appalled... but also undeniably proud. Raito had never felt he had so much in common with his sister as he did at that moment.

Just as Raito's expression melted from shock to rage and he readied himself for the rant of all angry rants, his sister beat him to the punch.

"Please, please, please, please, please, _please_!" She pleaded and chanted, puppy-dog eyes and all.

Raito, unfortunately for Sayu, was never one to be affected by innocent looks and pleading. He glared. His eyes pierced hers harshly and caused her to wince and grimace.

"What exactly do you think you're trying to do?" He hissed, quietly but with a thick amount of viciousness.

"Well I didn't want to work alone, and I thought it'd be great to have someone there I knew, and I knew you'd be _fantastic _as a waiter, with your _charisma _and _charm_ and uncanny people skills! Not to mention I look up to you so much and you're the _best_ role-model ever so I knew you'd be the best 'working buddy' ever..." Sayu babbled on, a light sweat forming on her brow.

Raito found himself not very charmed or impressed.

"Then why didn't you just ask one of your friends?" He hissed.

Sayu considered laying on the compliments thickly again, she knew how arrogant her brother could be, but from the look on his face, decided against it. She sighed in a way, Raito decided was very melodramatic.

"They didn't want to work at the cafe." She said with a pout.

Raito resisted the urge to groan.

"So you instead got me a job without my consent? How exactly did you figure this would work out?"

"I don't know..."

Raito sighed. He looked down at the completely down-trodden look splayed across her face – such a contrast to her excitement just minutes before.

"You know, I should go back in there right now and tell Watari exactly what you did."

Her face fell further and mixed with a look of panic.

"... But I won't."

Sayu's head whipped up, shocked, to look to her brother. Raito had already begun walking on a head of his sister, down the busy street past a whole variety of people. Leaving her gaping just as she had rendered him not too long ago.

He stopped. His back still facing her.

"You owe me though." He said over his shoulder before continuing on home.

Sayu's whole face brightened and she ran after her brother with glee, bouncing along the footpath until she caught up to him – now resembling the enthusiasm she displayed before.

"Thank you!" She almost shrieked. Raito tried not to smile at her antics. But failed.

_This better give me some good karma. _Raito thought dryly, as a thrilled Sayu persistently babbled out words of thanks and praise.

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**Yay! Prologue complete! –grins wildly-**

**I'm so incredibly happy at the moment, hehe!**

**Okay well any reviews, criticisms etc. are welcomed as I said above!**

**Okay there's a few things I want to blabber on about now, so really feel free not to read this if you don't want to – if something's important that I think you should know about, I'll underline it.**

**Hm, as you can probably see I adore sibling relationships (especially brother-sister ones) they're just so amusing and extremely fun to write about, especially the banter between the siblings – that's the most entertaining part of all. **

**Just so you know I'm not making Raito's and Sayu's relationship as such simply to entertain myself and my love of funny sibling relationships. I've only ever watched the anime of Death Note (been meaning to read the manga though), and in the anime Sayu's and Raito's relationship really isn't done in much depth at all, though we're given little snippets. Anyway, the point is, I honestly see Raito to be this kind of big brother and if it wasn't for the Death Note entering his life – I can definitely envision him as this type of sibling. Thus the reason I wrote him as such. I said before that this doesn't follow the manga or anime timeline and I meant that. **

**Also did anyone notice me popping in some of Raito's characteristics and beliefs from the actual show? Hehe. I'm sure you did. As I said he's going to be a different person because the Death Note never enters his life, but I also don't want to change his character too much.**

**Well that's all (finally!) I look forward to any feedback!!**

**-40KiraKira**


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